HOUSEWIFE 101

Thank you for attending The Penny Pinching Diva’s International Community College of Knowledge. Today’s lesson is continuing from: HOUSEWIFE 101.

LESSON 04:

No matter how long you look at clean clothes, they will not fold themselves.

I love doing laundry. I like washing clothes, and I love the way clothes smell when you put them in the dryer. Clean clothes smell is THE BEST smell to me. I just hate folding clothes. If I had superpowers, they would be willing the enormous stack of clothes on my ottoman to fold themselves. But of course, they are not moving, and they will not be fold and put away unless I do them myself. I have finally learned my lesson. DO NOT let your dirty clothes pile up until everyone in the house is down to one clean outfit. And once you start washing your clothes, fold the load of clothes AS SOON as they come out of the dryer. Do not sit them aside and vow to tackle them later on that evening in front of the television while you watch your favorite show. You will get distracted and the clothes will be put off until the next day.

LESSON 05:

CONTRARY to popular belief, men are just as afraid, (if not more so), of bugs then women are.

Men are afraid of big bugs and/or spiders regardless of what they say. If the two types of bugs are together, then this could possibly be a disastrous combination. I have seen grown men run from water bugs, grasshoppers, moths, bumble bees, daddy-long-legs, and beetles. I am the only girl in a house full of the male variety, and I am the chosen resident bug killer. Whenever anyone in my house spots a bug, they scream my name and come running to find me so that I can perform my super miracle dance of SEE-SPOT-STEP-FLUSH. I am really quite talented at it and I can now peform it with one eye closed. In the process of my buggy dance, I have learned that I can use my deadly proweress as a bargaining weapon. While I am “searching” for the bug, I throw in a “While I’m doing this, go do…” It works everytime. I have successfully gotten my trash taken out, the dog fed, the livingroom cleaned, the dishwasher loaded and the kitchen swept and mopped without so much as a grumble or a grunt.

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S LESSON:

01. WATCH your laundry, or it will grow on you.
02. Bugs are TRULY a woman’s best friend.

That is all for todays lesson. Until we meet again.
~Shynea