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MANAGING RELATIONSHIPS: FIGHTING FAIRLY

In every relationship disagreements will happen. No two people will agree on everything. Not even you and your spouse. How you handle these disagreements will have a lasting impression on your relationship. Sometimes it takes as little as half a minute for you to remember how silly an argument really is. If you’re ever in the heat-of-the-moment, please take time out to remember a few of these simple tips:

  • NEVER DISCUSS ANYTHING WHEN YOU’RE ANGRY
    Walk away, calm down and then come back. When you’re at your angriest you won’t even consider listening to what the other person has to say. All of your defenses are up and you’ll only remember that you’re upset. Take thirty minutes away from each other to gather your thoughts, collect your emotions and get yourself together. After doing this, try coming back to discuss things civilly.
  • DON’T YELL AND SCREAM AT EACH OTHER
    The fastest way to not get your point across is by yelling it. When you allow yourself to get so worked up that you resort to screaming, I can gurantee that the other person will tune out what you’re saying or become defensive. Keep your voice down. If someone can hear you in the next room, you’re talking too loud. If you find yourself getting worked up, once again take a breather.
  • DON’T INVOLVE OTHERS IN YOUR ARGUMENT
    This rule includes your children. Keep your disagreements as clean as possible by not involving innocent bystanders. Don’t make someone feel as if they have to choose sides. Nothing good can come by this and you are only making a bad situation worse.
  • NEVER SAY SOMETHING YOU DON’T MEAN
    Those stinging words you shoot out of your mouth at the spur of the moment are the worse. Yes, you can apologize later for them, but you can never take the pain back from harsh words. Avoid this fighting faux pas by not saying something you don’t mean in the first place.
  • DON’T BRING PAST MISTAKES BACK UP
    The past is the past for a reaon. If you have already forgiven your spouse for a past mistake, then do not throw it up in their face every chance that you get. If you say you are going to “forgive and forget“, then mean it. Don’t throw your forgiveness around if it isn’t truly from the heart. How long do you expect your spouse to keep apologizing for the same thing?
  • ALLOW THE OTHER PERSON TO SPEAK
    Don’t monopolize the conversation. If you feel like you have something important to say, nine times out of ten, so does the other person. Let them finish a sentence even if it’s something you may not agree with. When it’s your turn to talk, you’ll be able to request the same amount of respect you have given them.
  • SOMETIMES BE THE BIGGER PERSON
    If the argument isn’t about a life or death situation, then sometimes you need to just let it go. The majority of most arguments are over trivial things. Spare yourself some major stress and grief and just let it go. Once you calm down and think about it, you will probably realize that your emotions got the best of you.
  • ABOVE ALL ELSE, NEVER LEAVE ANGRY
    Don’t walk out of your house angry. You never know what can happen in that short period of time that you are away from each other. You have to remember that even when the argument is over, you still love each other.

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2 Comments

  1. I love this post! Thank you. BTW, I love the new look of your site. When did you launch it?

  2. Dear Crystal,

    I am glad that you enjoyed the post. I didn’t make an annoucement when I launched the new look. I just kind of eased into it. 🙂 It has been up for about a week and a half.

    Take care,
    Shynea

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