Comments on: TOUGH TIMES, TOUGH PEOPLE: I WAS ABUSED, BUT YET I SURVIVED

By: Laura

Laura — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:22:22 +0000

Incredible story. Thank you for sharing.

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.”

By: WhosGotYourMoneyNow?

WhosGotYourMoneyNow? — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 20:11:33 +0000

I just want to let you know you are as inspirational as Oprah may god be with you on your journey.

By: MOMMYSAVESALOT

MOMMYSAVESALOT — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:26:51 +0000

I too believe you are strong; especially to have survived an abusive relationship. It takes a whole lot of courage to did what you did.

With that said, I would be lying to you if the thought didn’t cross my mind as to why you weren’t married yet, but its none of my business so I don’t dwell on it. I’m not judging; just telling you my observation.

By: Nikki @ Blasian Baby

Nikki @ Blasian Baby — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:35:00 +0000

Why do people always want to know the nosiest things about our personal lives. LOL. I also get some off color comments but I view it as a chance to share and educate. Wanting to re-educate people has motivated me in unexpected and creative ways. I see it has done the same for you.

Being a survivor of domestic violence makes you a powerful person. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. As a fellow single mom (by choice) I want to say… your main concern is keeping yourself healthy and your family happy and safe. Chin up and keep blogging!

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:21:59 +0000

I don’t want the book (only cause I have one sitting right here that I am reviewing) but do want to thank you so much for sharing! My past wasn’t as bad as yours but I’m sure if I stayed longer it would have been! You are a strong woman & ppl are jerks. Keep your head up & keep on keepin on

By: T

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:11:22 +0000

When I first read about your website on essence I wondered the same concerning the comment made about why aren’t you married with four kids. When it comes down to it its really none of anyone’s business but at the same time in God’s eyes as well as in the long run and for your sons’ sake its best to be married. I was in a similar sitation in an abusive marriage and now with someone different with three kids. In other words I don’t think the person was trying to be rude when they left the comment but simply being real with you! I like the site and keep up the good work but always remember you have to look out for your kids as well as yourself!

By: Dionne

Dionne — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 04:28:47 +0000

Shynea,

You are a brave soul and a good person. I don’t know you personally but from the above responses you are loved. We have exchanged emails and from day one, I knew you had a good heart. Stay strong and don’t let comments like this get to you. Folks can be down right mean and insensitive. Misery loves company. Instead of applauding you for your great accomplishments and good deeds they focus on the negative.

You are doing your thing and unfortunately more of the negativity will come. Baby girl, you are a success!!!!

Keep up the good work!

By: Execumama

Execumama — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:50:23 +0000

Just want to say that I’m proud of you. I’ve seen domestic violence in my family, and though it wasn’t first-hand, it hurt and it has shaped my perspective on relationships in many ways. Again, I’m proud of you for doing the brave and scary thing; leaving! You are not only a survivor, you are a messenger that there is light on the other side of the fears that come with deciding to leave. GOOD FOR YOU, Shynea!!

By: Angela Shortt

Angela Shortt — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 01:05:16 +0000

Like so many other ladies speaking out here, I was also abused. It took me a very long time to admit that because I grew up fighting, literally. I never lost a fight until my ex-husband smashed in my face and nearly killed me. Every once and a while, I get a reminder of how lucky I am to be alive. Other women, many others, have not been so fortunate. My oldest daughter, who was five at the time we divorced, remembers some of the incidents and it had a lasting effect on her. As a result, she did some volunteer work in Oakland for women who are trying to re-connect with their children after being convicted of felonies. The number one reason why they were incarcerated? They were abused, and terrified of their abusers. Some of them killed in order to get out. Now they are prison, without their kids. Others did whatever the men told them to do–they robbed, sold their bodies, passed bad checks, sold drugs, etc. And they are in prison, without their children.

I had to fight the tears as my daughter told me those stories. That could have very easily been me. God delivered me from that fate, and even though it was financially, emotionally and physically difficult at times, I got to LOVE, be with and raise my kids. And I did it without fearing the wrath of an insanely violent man.

I wrote a blog about my former abusive marriage, which you can access by clicking on my name. If you scroll down to the archives and click on March 2009, you can (again) scroll down to the article I wrote on March 6, 2009 called “Take him back? Rianna’s crazy!” (I misspelled Rihanna’s name.)

I hope no other woman has to go through situations like these again. But then again, I know that it happens more often than not.

By: Tara

Tara — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 00:44:51 +0000

Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllll, who left that comment for you?!?! Ugh. I try to see the best in people but come on, you don’t do that. I am a casual reader of your blog and I know you better from the TweetChats, but you have always been nothing but positive and helpful and kind and generous. No one needs to be slinging mud your way. No one. *hugs*

I’m glad you spoke out about your story, but I just wish it wasn’t so common. Instead of being shocked, I’m just like, “Aww, man, her too?” We gotta do something with the next generation of little boys and girls. Tell these little boys the proper way to express frustration and anger is not through their fists, but their voice. Tell little girls that love is pure and non-physical.