WHEN GROWN WOMEN GO WILD: CYBER HARRASSMENT AT ITS FINEST
I have been grappling with myself for a few days on whether or not I would write this post. After much thought and consideration, I have decided that I don’t owe it to the other person to protect their feelings because my feelings, or my family’s well being for that matter, weren’t taken into consideration.
About six or seven months ago I came across a woman online. What started out as a “cordial” acquaintance soon turned into a person whom I regularly chatted with on Skype, but soon after the relationship changed. She was in the midst of launching her “magazine” as well as working on her non-profit directed toward battered women. She told me how her graphic design lady quit on her in the middle of her project and that she didn’t know what to do. I design graphics so I volunteered to help her out.
That is where I went wrong.
I was soon told that she did not have any funds available and would have to set up payment arrangements with me. I agreed because as anyone knows battered women is a touchy subject for me (seeing as I went through an abusive relationship and she was well aware of this). I am an open book and I have NO problem telling anyone what I have been through so that if they are in the same private situation they can find some kind of encouragement to get out.
Anyways, I was in the process of gathering information to form my own non-profit for battered women called Mornings With Mom at the time. She volunteered her “expertise” to me because I was helping her out of a sticky situation. Basically, when all was said and done, this woman decided to pick a fight with me in order NOT to pay me the remaining amount of money that was owed to me.
The mindless banter went back and forth for days, with her in the end “throwing” in my face that I should have never assumed her advice was for free and that she did more for me than what I could ever do for her. I decided to let it go after that..
A few days later, I received an email from this woman asking me for my mailing address so she could send me the remaining amount of money that was owed to me. I sent her my address and left it at that. Afterwards I received a scathing email calling me “money hungry” among a slew of other insults. I finally blocked her from all contact with me and chalked it up to a lesson learned. At the time I was a SAHM of four kids and we were living on one income. Was it really “understood” that I would work for free. I put paying clients in front of her because I believed in her “ministry.”
SEVEN months later, the graphics that I custom made for a project that I was NEVER paid for had been sitting on my computer so I decided to turn around and use them for my current project. I spent hours on these graphics, and since I was not paid for them they legally are not hers to claim ownership to.
I woke up to this tidbits in my inbox (they have been cut for length because I don’t think anyone has an hour to sit here and read the nastyness):
I am very concerned about a recent graphic that you have placed about your new website that will launch soon. After 15 emails, I had no idea what my writers were talking about.. until now. You STOLE something that you were paid to do. It is true, that you did not receive the entire fee of $300 but you were paid $110 via PaPal for graphics that you designed.
You are INTENTIONALLY trying to discredit my magazine and me for that matter.
The graphics were NOT yours to use. I don’t care what you did! You do whatever you feel you need to do. TRUST and BELIEVE that I am NOT threaten AT ALL! I’VE NEVER HAVE BEEN AND I NEVER WILL BE!
I have NEVER had any issues about money LOL. That’s NEVER been a problem for me the course of my life. ANYONE who knows me or my family would laugh at that statement. My struggles are not with money. Spare me the mother of four sympathy cries.
You are going through enough in your life. I believe you are the lonely one. Never make the same mistake twice. Mature? LOL.
Have a wonderful life and next time, pay attention to ALL the warning signs!
That is just a part of the nastiness that came from her mouth. I have to admit that I fell prey to weakness and corresponded with her back a few times, and being completely caught off guard, I was not so nice in my responses to her. But what I said was truth and I don’t feel at all bad about using my custom graphics on my newest project.
I wish that I would have handled this situation entirely different by just ignoring the email, but I NEVER thought I would be the one to say that I had a person harrassing me over the internet.
It’s just completely crazy to me.
To make matters worse, I find that someone on the internet befriended me just to betray me.
I’m at a lost for words, not about the nasty emails because I can let those roll completely off my back, but about the fact that grown women will resort to high school ways. I don’t know what this person had to gain but trying to befriend me but I hope that what they wanted to accomplish was accomplished. I am not hurt by the fact, because personal points of my life weren’t shared so freely. It just leaves me weary to think that this is what can be expected from people on the internet.
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I’M ON TWITTER
You know some people have no sense of logic or rationale. You can’t talk sense into someone with no sense. Sorry it’s bothering you, but seriously – it’s not even worth the cognitive process involved in giving it thought.
Girl… ignore, block, laugh. That’s what I plan to do LOL All she wants is to have a reason to send her ranting emails… if you let her and don’t respond, she won’t have any choice but to feel like the idiot that she is and keep it moving.
As a sidenote: I’m sure there will be a blog post from the dark side after she sees this lol
Oh and let me add the keyword: PSYCHO. That oughta get her goat. LOL That is the most petty, childish mess I’ve ever had the displeasure of witnessing.
*DONE*
Dear Kathleen,
I don’t care what she has to say. I did this for me, for my readers and for the members of the social network who had to deal with my erratic behavior yesturday caused by the ignorance that was placed before me.
My words will undoubtedly fall on death ears and I agree with you, I should have ignored it from the beginning. I have learned my lesson all around.
Take care,
Shynea
Wow! is all I can say. Unbelievable!
How completely and utterly ridiculous!! People are so petty. I am very sorry that this happened to you. I have been curious about the site and what was happening. I have been praying that things are okay for you and that it is just a busy time of year. I am relieved that this silly nonsense is the big deal.
Don’t let her get to you – we all love you!
You know this lady is straight looney! I don’t mean to be on here childishly calling names. But this is just completely riduclous! She basically told the truth on herself in her email to you. If money has never been an issue then why did she pay you $110 intead of the $300 in full? Now keeping in mind that TRUE we never pay for a service unrendered in full..BUT unpon completion she should have paid the balance BEFORE you did the final setup of her site. And she was right you maybe should have paid attention to the “warning signs” that she was a user. How the heck is she in business telling you that you shouldn’t have assumed her advice was free?! If this so called professional was not giving you free advice then she should have informed you of that BEFORE she begain rattling off her knowledge..that’s being professional..that’s what you did. I hate when people take advantage of others. Guess you can tell that touched a nerve with me. I hope you do not waste your valuable time on this nonsense. Pray about this situation and move on..lesson bought and well learned. You WILL continue to be blessed and plenty business will flow your way. Just be sure to receive your proper payment if you can before the client receives their merchandise. And for the safety of your family, I would refrain (if possible) from giving out my mailing address. Instead I would suggest purchasing a PO Box for business. Take care
Merry Christmas
Sounds to me like she is an abusive person her self and a thief.. Just calling it like I see it.
Look Sweetheart
First of all Blessed Christmas to you and yours. Chin up!
People don’t hurt your feelings UNLESS you allow
them. Don’t give anyone that power.
You can’t please all of the people all of the time!
Keep moving forward you are far to good a person to let someone drag you down and slow you down. When you start feeling bad think of APPLES.
Every time you do you will laugh out loud. Pretty soon those feelings of hurt will vanish.
Remember I love you.
Patty
(Nana Moulton)
Harassment is definitely not something to take lightly. I saw your tweets about this and although I don’t know the other party, a business is a business. Whether you were “trading services” or not is not relevant. She owes you the money and she is wrong. You can use the graphics all you want and she has no rights to them.
Merry Christmas Shynea! Don’t let anyone bring you down this joyous time of year!
Be encouraged by this poem
Keep Silent—Keep Sweet—and Keep Stepping
There are three simple words that begin with an “S,”
That are wise with a wisdom the world cannot guess;
But those who employ them their beauty confess
Keep Silent—Keep Sweet—and keep Stepping
Keep Silent when rumor against you is stirred
When friendship is hurt like some broken-winged bird;
When clamors the heart for the right to be heard,
Keep Silent—keep Sweet—and keep Stepping.
Keep Sweet when provoked by some petty affair,
When those whom you love, your loyalty wear—
When the milk of your spirit is curdled with care,
Keep Silent—keep Sweet—and keep Stepping.
Keep Stepping when other folks hinder your way;
When weary and worried you finish your day,
Too footsore to walk, and too breathless to pray—
Keep Silent—keep Sweet—and keep Stepping.
Keep Silent and spare yourself needless regret—
Keep Sweet and the whole world will be in your debt—
Keep Stepping with Christ, the truest Friend, yet,
Keep Silent—keep Sweet—and keep Stepping.
(Author Unknown)
Sorry about that mean woman BUT don’t let her win by upsetting you any further! I know how crazy this time of year can get with 4 kids and there is no room for wasting time on this other woman. Try to put it out of your mind and focus on the positive, yourself and those sweet kids of yours! Happy Holidays!
Happy Holidays!!
If I have not learned anything from all the law people I know , get it in writing no matter what even if it is family! When time passes people seem to sometimes suffer memory loss. Always protect yourself, sad to say but true..
Wow! She admits to not paying the whole fee but claims them as hers! So sorry you have to go through this.
Well..ummmm..yeah. I don’t know what to say. She’s got big ones to tell you that you stole graphics that you created that she didn’t pay for. You are going to another level in your life and along the way, you will encounter some crazies and some people whose intentions aren’t always transparent. This is just a lesson for you for all of your future endeavors. By no means, should you allow this person to block your plans or your progress or close off your heart in any way. You should still continue to be the person you were before her..just a little more cautious that’s all.
Wow. That’s all I could think of when reading this.
Hey Shynea,
Girl please! She is not even worth a second of your time! People like her never prosper and with karma she will meet her time. Dust her of keep moving. God has bless you to move into bigger dimensions in your life, trust you will encounter haters! Whoever the woman is that befriended you she ought to be a damn shamed of herself! God do not like troublemakers!
LOL! I chuckle at people like that. Lesson learned….Keep on being Shynea. Don’t let crazies and haters change who Shynea really is. There are so many other people out here who are truly genuine to let one rotten one spoil it. You are destined for great things Shynea. Keep on pushin and let people like that roll off your back!
No weapon formed against you shall prosper.
You’re doing the best thing for you by moving on and not worrying about it.
This is the bad sad of business. Some people want things from free. Even family members.
Lesson learned and thanks for sharing. We who are online, need to be alert about these things. We don’t want to get too comfort and let the users sneak in on us.
Have a blessed Christmas.
She sounds so childish to me and the fact that she even stated that she didn’t pay you all that was owed to you for doing the graphics and still thinks she owns something is beyond ludicrous to me.
If you go to the store and tell them you only want to pay a $100 for a refrigerator when its $3oo does she think she gets to still store her food in it?? Her and her lol. Needs to go right back at her. Just beyond unreasoning with her. Sorry that its so bothersome for you. Hopefully you can find the delete button and ignore her.
Hi Shynea,
Just wanted to stop by and give you a big (((HUG)))!!! Keep your head up girl.
Yikes! People can be so selfish and shallow, especially when hiding behind their keyboards. Hope you don’t have to deal with this in the future.
Hey There Girl!
I’m glad you posted this. You may never know how many people you have helped by posting this. People can sometimes just be mean-spirited. What Satan meant for evil God means for good. So as you have said you learned a lesson and that is a important thing!
What in the world??????
I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. I am very grateful that you posted this. Just in case you’re not aware of this, I just want to point out that you have helped a great deal of people by posting this. Hopefully people will see how very important it is to keep business and friendship separate.
Sounds like she had a plan from the start to betray you. Stick by your decision to be rid of her and you’ve gained a lot more than you have lost by getting rid of her.
Happy New Year!!!