CAN YOU HAVE A VIRTUAL FAMILY ONLINE – WITH A PERSONAL STORY
Recently there has been a media frenzy around a mother’s use of Twitter to request prayers for her son. In a time of need she reached out to her group of friends and in one simple message she sent out a plea to those that were closest to her to say a prayer for her son.
In a time of stress, in a time of need, she reached hundreds in one message instead of picking up a cell phone and placing individual phone calls.
Now that I sit back and think about it, I have done the same thing on several different occasions. Technology and the internet are so ingrained into my everyday life that it is like breathing to me. I work on the computer and internet as a full time job 40+ hours a week, I share my life and teach women to be frugal daily via the internet, and I connect with family and friends on a daily basis because of the internet. The cell phone and snail mail is virtually nonexistent in my life.
So that led me to wonder “can you have a virtual family online?”
That question may seem out of sorts, but there have been so many instances in my own personal life where I have faced some kind of struggle and sought counsel online. My two year old has a chance of being Autistic and as soon as I found out about the diagnosis I popped online to Twitter to send out a message for strength and advice. I was met with so many replies from mothers, who like myself, were going through this same situation. I got so much good advice from women whose own children had been diagnosed with autism. In the life that I lead offline I know of no one; friends, co-workers or otherwise; who has autistic children. Imagine my comfort when I could click on personal blog entries written by real families on how they deal with this diagnosis on a day-to-day basis.
Most recently my same two year old son fell down and hit his nose. I was beyond upset about that but this was only the beginning. When my husband took him to see his pediatrician the next morning we were informed that his nose could be broken and that when testing his glucose they thought he may have Juvenile diabetes.
I was heartbroken. I couldn’t even fathom how I was going to begin to deal with this information.
I had a mini breakdown and then I jumped on Twitter. I asked people to pray for my son. I told them exactly what his pediatrician said, and within minutes I receive an outpouring of support. It was unbelievable and although these women weren’t right there, they gave me comfort. Their encouraging words allowed me to start seeing clearly.
Although this may seem unconventional to most, to me it is normal; an everyday part of my life. I have formed friendships with these women online that has carried over offline. We talk on the phone, send each other presents in the mail and when things are at its roughest I know that they are only a tweet/email/instant message/phone call away.
I honestly believe that one can create a “virtual” family online. Whether through Twitter, a blog post, conversations through a message board or an hours long conversation on Skype I share a lot of my life online. People who I may never meet in real life, face-to-face, know my children’s name. They know where I live. They know when I’m upset or they’ve witnessed my happiness as I’ve gone through many of life’s pleasures.
Thank you to the woman online who shared words of encouragement, offered up a prayer or just let me know that things will be alright. Sometimes the best things can be said in 140 words/characters or less.
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I’M ON TWITTER
Awwww… you know I ALWAYS got your back, big homey
LOL YES you can certainly have a virtual family online. And you know thissss, man!!! lol *hugs*
Dear Kat,
I actually find comfort in coming online and talking with my “family.” I really do. Some people online know me better than those online. I’m glad I met you. You are a diamond in the rough, no doubt lol, but your my diamond. Thanks to the Queen of Crazy we lesser crazies found each other.
Take care,
Shynea
I absolutely agree that you can have a virtual family online. You are blessed to have people you can go to and at one time get so much love and support.
I as a Army wife have a good online support group that I feel I can go to at anytime and share things going on in my life, and thats an awesome feeling!
Your son is in my thoughts and I hope he is feeling better
Dear Krystal,
Thank you for having my son in your thoughts. I LOVE my virtual family and some of y’all have been there more for me than the people I see physically all of the time. I’m a mom of many and I hardly am able to get out of the house. I get my social interaction online and I love it.
Thank you as always for your heartfelt comments. You will NEVER know how much they are appreciated.
Take care,
Shynea
I believe this to be true as well. You get a bond a sense of connection to others that know and can feel what you have or will be going through. Most of which is my personal experiences and us a woman like to reach our and share. We are most caring of the spieces. There is nothing wrong with this just be careful and choose your virtual friends the same as you choose your personal friends.
Dear Telaya,
I have learned the HARD way to be careful who I befriend online. Because just like offline, people online can be just as nasty and have ulterior motives.
Take care,
Shynea
I think that people need to stop being so judgmental. Things that work for some people may not work for other.. but why must we judge? As long as that person has the support they need, why should it matter how they get? People form friendships in their own way… and me personally. Sometimes its easier to talk to someone who is not right there. I’m glad you have found such good friends!
Dear Monica,
When people put themselves out there, especially bloggers, readers/commentors/passerbys feel as if they have the “right” to judge us. I know that for every nasty comment I get in public, I get the same amount in an email. I pay no attention to what others think of me besides the ones that know me. I LOVE my online family and am SO grateful for the wonderful women I have met online.
I do agree that sometimes it is easier to talk to someone that isn’t right there.
Take care,
Shynea
It doesn’t matter how you get it…support comes in all forms. In person, online, through a letter, in a text, love can transcend anything.
Hope the little one feels better soon. ((((HUGS)))
Dear Keonte,
He is feeling much better. And I agree, support can come in all forms. Some of the best is online and through a text.
Take care,
Shynea
You can get your support that is best for you and when you get down listen to the song by Marvin Sapp He saw the best in me. You will like this song and I pray for you and your family. Remember God is in control.
Dear Valerie,
Thank you for that song recommendation. I am definitely going to download and listen to it.
Take care,
Shynea
My online family has helped me through many storms and I’m so thankful to have them to go to. Sometimes they might be all you have.
Some of my online friends have become some of my best friends.
I’ve only been visiting your blog for the past year, but I appreciate you sharing your family with us. It helps me get to know you and shows me I’m not alone in this mommyhood.
Keep sharing
Dear LaShaunda,
I am SO glad that you visit my blog. I LOVE sharing my family online and wouldn’t have it any other way. I am a fairly open book and I know that with some of the things that I write I open myself up to criticism.
I do have a very good online friend that has become my best friend and I hold her friendship VERY close to my heart.
I will continue to share.
Take care,
Shynea
Eventhough you don’t me, I I’m a stay in the back type of person. I do understand the different things you go thru. I pray far you and your family. Don’t forget about the power of prayer. Thks for the voice.
Dear Monasha,
Thank you SO much for praying for me. I appreciate more than you’ll ever know.
Take care,
Shynea
I am the same way, when something is wrong or I need support or advice, I usually turn to Twitter or Facebook! Not only have I found some really great people (like you!) but it reminds me how great people are and how willing others are to help.
Dear Priscilla,
You have NO idea how grateful I am that I met you. You have helped me on my blog so much and I appreciate that. I always turn online whenever I need support, encouragement or advice and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Take care,
Shynea
Just skimming and tending to agree… {{CYBER-HUGS}} From a fellow blogger & twitter-er.
Yes, I think it is possible to have a “virtual” family. It is important though to make sure that is not the only support you have. I think we are all painfully aware of the problems that can arise when you don’t have a good real-life support system in place. Should your online family be nearly as important as your real-life family, particularly if you are a parent? Absolutely not.
It’s funny…I met my husband online, but at this point in my life I have very little interest in forming online friendships. Don’t get me wrong – I have met quite a few nice people since starting my website, but I simply don’t have the time to nurture “real” friendships with people who I don’t know in real life. I have a very active 1 1/2 year old and I have two work-at-home jobs. Taking care of my family will always be my priority. I may not have a chance to update my website regularly, or tweet what I’m doing every few minutes, and that is fine with me. And actually, it’s the same way in real life. Nothing and nobody takes priority over my family.
It’s important for people to be aware that the internet is a public place. If you are willingly putting your family business out for anyone to read, then you really cannot complain about the ugly responses you may get. It’s essentially the same as being a celebrity, on a lesser level. Yes, there are some sick, rotten people out there. That’s why I am fiercly protective of my family’s privacy and very cautious about what I share publicly. As sad as it is, there will always be crazy people out there. We can’t change that. But how much we share with them is a choice we make.
Also…just wanted to make it clear that what I said above is not intended to be critical of anyone – it is just my perspective
So much of the online world is part of MY world. Like you, when I’m angry, upset, happy, excited, depressed…I turn to my family online – the ones that are there for me every day, every time I need a friend. Does it matter that I’ve never met a single one of them in person? To me, no! I would turn to a dozen women I’ve met online before I would so of my actual family members.
Dear Cat,
You have taken the words right out of my mouth. I too would rather go to the women I have met online for advice before I talk to anyone offline. I get more understanding from y’all before anyone else. The online world is SO much apart of my world that I don’t see a difference anymore. I love my online family and I have NO idea what I would do without them.
Take care,
Shynea
Our virtual family is very important to me and a huge part of my day. I’d be lost without you guys! How is your son doing? Any further news? I hope his poor nose is healing well!!
Dear Heather,
My online family ROCKS. lol There is NO other way to put it. I swear, y’all have checked in with me on my son more than a lot of people in my offline life have. He is doing SO much better. Still bruising and minor swelling but his nose is looking better.
Take care,
Shynea
Girl you are so on point. I tell you when I started breaking out in hives I facebooked my prayer request that I would find out what it was. This was before I was a tweeter. But the outpour of love was so great! So I believe you can have a virtual family.
Know that I’m always praying for you and your family.
You are the bomb girl!
Blessings
Dear Rita,
You are too funny. I really needed this comment today. I am SO shocked how supportive some people are online. I still can’t believe that everytime I asked for any prayer request someone always responded. It still amazes me and I ALWAYS want to know what’s going on in their lives.
Take care and God bless to you too,
Shynea
Yes, ma’am. I have people who have become real life friends, whom I’ve met through twitter, facebook and blogging. I know we are on each other’s feed on twitter, but somehow I have missed what’s been going on in your life. I hope to meet you at a conference, soon. I believe in connecting online and in real life. I am praying for you and your family. May you have the strength to weather the ride of life.
Dear Frugalista,
Thank you so much for your kind words. I am just like you. I have met women through blogging and Twitter that have become some of my closest friends and I have more than enjoyed carrying that frienship offline. I hope to meet you at a conference this year as well. I will be attending the BlogHer and Blogalicious conferences this year. I look forward to getting to know you better through Twitter and through each other’s blog.
Take care,
Shynea