VISITOR TIPS: IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY THEN DON’T COME BACK
It has been awhile since I have had to make one of these posts. The last time was during a Kmart debacle when I posted an open letter to my readers. I have also decided that this will be the last time that I make a post like this. Some readers and random visitors forget so easily simple rules of etiquette. I’m tired of defending myself, and having to subject the people that visit here on a regular basis because they want to, to the nastiness that is left in my comments.
I’m just going to respond, overall, to some of the comments and emails that have been sent my way in one post. That way, when you’re banned from my site there isn’t a question as to why.
COMMENT #01.
This lovely little diddy came from reader “NMK”:
I’m so not a hater- I like your website and everything you chime in about, especially insight into your personal struggles and growth, but I have to be honest..
I was wondering what, besides girl clothes and diapers/wipes, would you need for a 5th baby? Baby showers are for celebrating, not for the sake of giving presents… So I guess what I mean is it seems sort of tacky:( But maybe I just don’t get it.
Hmmm. When you start off your comment as “I’m so not a hater…” it makes me wonder are you really? I don’t fathom for one second that everyone will agree with everything that I have to say. But when you throw the word “tacky” my way in the midst of me making a post about my daughter then I can tend to get a little on the defensive side. There are better ways to express your opinions besides calling names. I have plenty of friends in which we don’t agree with each other. But guess what? We’re still friends. We talk about it, sometimes have a healthy debate, and then we move on. I would never call someone tacky for their decisions.
COMMENT #02.
This healthy dose of, ummm reality, came from Shelia:
“Just because I don’t choose to live my life in the way that they live theirs doesn’t make me tacky.”
No, it doesn’t. But in my eyes what does is how you respond to people who might post something that you don’t like on your blog. Yes IT IS YOUR BLOG, and you are absolutely entitled to post whatever you want on here. But you already know, what comes with that is people are going to say whatever they want, share their opinions, nice, considerate, close minded, ignorant or not-it something that comes with the territory, it’s something that should be expected when choosing to post about your personal life on an online blog. You’re right, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone, but don’t gripe about it if you choose to do it every time someone posts an opinion. Just like you are entitled to this blog everyone is entitled to their own opinion, or comment, or whatever. Either that or perhaps you should disable comments altogether.
Oh, oh Shelia. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. My mom use to listen to that song when I was small. *smiles*) Where do I even begin with this contradictory comment? What doesn’t make any sense about this comment is that at one point she say’s I’m tacky for responding to rude comments, and then she turns around and says that it’s my blog and I can say what I want. Yes, I blog about my personal life but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to let people say whatever they want to to me. Just because I blog openly about some aspects of my life, does that really entitle people to over analyze my actions and then place their judgment on me? If the shoe were on the other foot, and you wrote openly about your life, how many people do you think would agree with you 100%? Once again, I’m open for opinions, but I’m not open for judgment and criticism. You can say what you want to me as long as you say it in a respectful manner. I don’t disrespect anyone on my website so why should I be disrespected? And FYI, I will never disable comments just because a few people don’t know how to act. I have made some GREAT friends through my website, and my now defunct social network, and my comments is one of the ways that we keep up with each other.
COMMENT #03.
This came in the form of an “anonymous” comment:
I don’t come here to read about your family. I come here to learn how to save money. Stick to money saving posts and keep everything else out of it.
Wow. I’m guessing that this is the ONLY money saving blog on the internet that you can visit. I hate to sound so childish, but “this is my blog and I’ll write what I want to.” If you don’t like what I have to say, you are more than welcome to STOP coming here and find somewhere else to get your money saving posts. Matter-of-fact, if you really want me to I’ll give you a list of great sites that write nothing but deal posts. (Or you could stop being lazy and google “deal saving blogs.” Either or.) What is amazing to me is that this person actually thought that he/she would deter me from talking about my kids just because they said so. I had a few choice words I wanted to say but I’m going to be a lady about it. So let me reiterate: if you don’t like what I have to say then don’t keep coming here.
COMMENT #04.
This question came from another anonymous, but regular, visitor:
Who do you think you really are?
Well, the last time I checked I was Shynea. Although I do sometimes have a tendency to have multiple personalities which come out in the form of a passive and mellow chick named Lilly (she’s SO laid back and cool) and then another girl name Y’cateesha (but you don’t really want to meet her because she’s something else). You can also find out more about me on my About Me page or through any of my personal posts.
I’m no longer going to keep defending myself and going through these comments.
I’m just not. That stops right here, right now. This is the LAST time I will make one of these posts addressing a few “adults” who act anything but. I will delete and then ban anyone who can’t treat me with the same amount of respect that they want to be treated with. I will continue to delete and ban anyone who continues to criticize me or call names. I will delete and then ban anymore trolls who hide behind their computer and only come here to start trouble. Debate with me ALL DAY LONG but don’t look down your nose at me because, *gasp*, I’m doing something different than you.
I write here because I enjoy it.
I write here because I have helped more people then I have hurt.
I write here because I have met some wonderful, gorgeous, intelligent women who have given me advice and helped me through some hard times and I want to give back.
In a nutshell, if you don’t like it KICK ROCK.
And yes, comments are STILL open.
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I’M ON TWITTER
I’m amazed you still have the strength and patience to even comment back much less write a post. LOL.
There comes a point when you just have to ignore come comments and just keep going. Someone somewhere will always have something to say about some part of your life you share online…they don’t know you nor all your story so why even put stock in their passing comment?
I’m sure your busy doing many wonderful and creative things…keep your energy on that!
Dear Nikki,
I’m surprised I still have the energy to even acknowledge the few people that don’t like my website. I have this really bad habit of trying to defend myself/decisions/actions instead of ignoring people. I have also been hot headed and a motor mouth. I know that with my baby girl about to be born, I will have less time to deal with the ignorancy so this was my last time letting readers/visitors know that I’ll just block and ban.
Take care,
Shynea
im proud of you 4 rising above the ignorance of people! people just want something to talk about. furthermore they NEED to get a life!
Dear Kenesha,
I agree with you completely (some people just need to get a life). I try to rise above the ignorancy that surrounds me, but sometimes it does get the best of me. The best bet that I have is to ignore it from now on.
Take care,
Shynea
Hello. This is the first time I am on your site and want to thank you first off for the savings you are helping me get. My wife and I have 8 children, yes she has giving birth to each one. 7 boys and 1 girl (no not the youngest) ages are mid 20′s to the youngest only 8 months old. We are blessed and finding your site is a blessing. Just wanted to say….wow I am shocked that people would blast you for your own comments on your own site. I guess there are people out there that think they can run everything and ruin things for others. I am glad that you have not given up or in to their rants, otherwise I would miss out on the deals/savings. Yeah there are other sites to get some of the same, but each site carries it’s own flair. Glad to see you get by things like this and not let them get you down at all. Blessings to you and your family.
Dear Shep,
Welcome to my site! I hope that you continue to come back for the savings that I post. I LOVE big families. I have always wanted a big family of my own. I love it even more to hear from the dads/men that visit my site. I hope that you continue to comment and tell me what you need from this site because I really do love catering to my loyal readers. I am glad that this site has become a blessing to some as that is what it is intended for; to help other families out. I am constantly motivated by my readers to keep blogging and keep going.
Blessings to you and your family as well!
Take care,
Shynea
I think it’s best to do just as you said – delete what you don’t want published on your site and brush it off and move on. It’s not even worth the effort it takes to form words for a response, much less the time it takes to format a post. As long as there are people, there will be ignorant people… childish people… people who can’t vent their frustrations in their own life so they take their problems out on people online. Pray for them and then take a deep breath and exhale.
I think the whole “tacky” comment was just uncalled for. Anyone who doesn’t want to participate in the online baby shower doesn’t have to. If all they want to see is deal posts, they don’t have to click through to the ones that are personal. And if they want to know who you *think* you are, maybe they should get a psychology degree and figure it out for themselves LOL
Do what you do, write what you write, and ignore the nonsense. All too often, misery loves company… people who hate on what’s going good in your life are just looking to make themselves feel better about their own. Don’t buy into it. You’ve got better things to do with your time – like plan for the arrival of your DAUGHTER!!!
Dear Kat,
I am such a hot head, and my mouth is even worse. I guess that the day that I got the last comment was the last straw and I decided to defend myself. I have to get use to the notion of not having everyone like my website or like what I do. It’s still a little boggling to me that some people would actually be so nasty and vocal.
Take care,
Shynea
Do not let people get you upset remember your little girl and like you say delete them because this is your site.
Ignore these people, your site “rocks”… thanks
Dear Veronica,
I’m glad you like my site!
Take care,
Shynea
OH MY GOSH!!! As I was reading through some of those posts, I was shocked! It’s crazy how people think they have a say in how you run your blog. Is it open to the world by being on the internet? Yes. But it’s still yours. So, yes girl…block and delete. Good Lord. I’m in shock over here. I can’t believe people. And not only should they kick rocks, they should kick rocks in traffic with their head down. I would add another word at the end of that, but I respect you and your site, so I won’t even go there. Try to stay positive little mama! Don’t let these trolls bring you down
Dear K.O.,
I am still trying to get use to the criticism and negativity that come with this website. You would think that after two years I would be use to it by now. Girl, you would be in shock if you read EVERYTHING that I got. On some days the hate mail makes me feel like Kate Gosselin. lol I am going to stay positive and my philosophy from now on for all of the haters is “kick rock.”
Take care,
Shynea
I am a frequent visitor of this site. I love what your are doing. I have learned to let people say what they are going to say. It does not confirm or dictate who you are as a person. As long as you stay true to yourself that is all that matters. (What did Kandi say in her song I rise above all the haters they’re beneath me). Keep doing you girl and you will continue to thrive
Dear Rolanda,
Thank you SO much for your encouraging words. I guess it just gets overwhelming to me sometimes when I open up my email and find all of these negative posts. I need to stop being such a hot head and just hit the delete button.
Take care,
Shynea
don’t waste your energy or time on negative people.
Girl, people are a mess sometimes. I can’t believe that people would make these negative comments…I am thinking to myself “why do you keep coming back to read it???” I personally enjoy reading about your life & the ups and downs that occur. I can celebrate with you & then I can pray for you as well. ( Oh yeah, I like the deals too! *wink wink*)My mom always told me that people are going to talk about for 3 reasons. 1. they are jealous of something that you have or who you are (as far as your success, personality, or whatever) 2. there is something incomplete in their lives that they are searching for so they choose to dwell on other people’s life. & I think #3 dealt with them just not liking you and they are out to try to make your life miserable, but just don’t realize that they are only making theirs worse & increasing the value of yours. (I don’t know if that is what she actually said for #3 but it I just added my own little twist to it & it sounds good:) LOL
Take care & stay blessed!
Dear Kim,
I have said the same thing over-and-over too, if you don’t like me then why do you keep coming back? I am an open book. I don’t believe in making my life seem like something it’s not. Yes, there are some good times but there are also some bad times and I have no problem writing about either or. Your mom is a wise woman. I especially like your twist on number three. *smiles*
Take care,
Shynea
Shynea, keep it going girl…I love that you even take the time out of your busy schedule to even post and give us money saving tips. Keep your head up and don’t even worry (I know you don’t) about people with such small brains. Again, keep up the good work and I enjoy opening your emails each day.
Take Care
Dear Cynthia,
Yeah, my schedule is hectic but you have no idea the guilt I feel when I come across a deal and don’t post it on my website. lol I feel like I’m cheating another family or mother out of saving money. Sometimes I feel so bad I wake up in the middle of the night and go ahead and post it, even though I can’t see straight. lol (Hence the reason some of my posts ramble on and have typos and grammatical errors.)
Take care,
Shynrea
Keep your head up, Shynea. There will always be some people who love taking care of YOUR business than their own. I must say that I enjoy reading your site. Everything about it. Being a parent myself, I too mention my daughter at my job, on my nights out with the girls, and just with my friends (and I do believe that we are friends, Shynea. lol *smiles*) I love reading about what the kids are doing and what milestones they are passing. The story you tell about your kids are priceless. Please, don’t change your ways for some people who are mainly just jealous. (Seriously). May God continue to bless you and your entire family.
Shynea, brush your shoulders off girl and keep moving. I truly ENJOY your blog and not just the money saving stuff but all of it. It makes it real for me knowing that you actually live the advice and tips that you post to run your household and it works. You have helped me save many dollars and transform my budget in this San Diego economy with your method. I can’t tell you how many compliments I’ve received on my coupon book while shopping and how happy my family are when I started using your the menu for the week.
Shynea keep doing your thang girl and let them talk!!! My use to say when they started talking about you then you must be doing something right so smile =)
I have just started coming to your site and I think it’s great. I learn about you and your boys, receipes, coupons, and anything else. Please just keeping doing YOU!!! You never know who you are helping (me)!! **SMILE**
I enjoy your site. Your children sound sweet and you seem like a great parent. Personally, I find that having the frugality tips placed in the context of family life, daily life, and real-world contexts makes the tips interesting to read.
Hi Shynea,
I have been a reader of you site for years now (from back in your blogspot days, when the CVS 101 started). Here are my most sincerest thoughts…
1. I do miss you posting LOTS of deals, but I also realize that that must be an arduous job — so no wonder you want a break. I simply go elsewhere for those.
2. I do like when you take a stand against deceitful companies for all the deal-finding bloggers out there. Let’s be honest, you bloggers save them millions in marketing and advertising money each year!
3. I do like when you QUICKLY address the nasty posters, but I do not enjoy it when you are “too harsh” or “too sensitive” to some of the comments left. Because it brings an air of negativity to your blog that is not refreshing. (Again, I’ve been reading your blog for years for that “refreshing” quality that you naturally have.) There is a caveat to this though, I do understand that it is necessary to counter or deal with certain bloggers — like the Sam’s Club/ Walmart employee debacle. (You were absolutely right on the money with that one.)
4. I think / my suggestion to you is to keep the link to a post like this one handy and every time you receive a nasty comment respond to it with a like to this post, then move on. This post is great because it says everything and it can be re-linked to when someone decides to be nasty. I really mean that — it keeps up the positivity and does not litter your blog with defensive commentary.
Finally, I would just like to say that I truly hope you see this post as nothing more than honest, sincere, well-intended, constructive commentary from a long-time reader.
Best regard to you Shynea.