GOING BACK TO WORK AFTER MATERNITY LEAVE IS GOING TO BE SO HARD FOR ME
I’m a working mother. I have to be. With the way that the economy is I cannot afford to be a stay-at-home mom like I once was two years ago. I loved being at home with my babies all day. I took pride in cooking them breakfast before school, keeping my home neat (most of the time), participating in their school activities, preparing them home cooked made-from-scratch meals, and basically being a busy homebody.
I cherished the the time that I got to spend being the sole care provider for my two youngest sons.
With Baby Girl it hit me really hard today that I only have a little over three weeks left to spend every waking moment at home with her. It hurts me to know that someone else will be there to experience a lot of her first. I could very well miss her first real smile, her first scoots across the floor, her first baby steps. It breaks my heart knowing that the little girl that I have been waiting so long to call my own will soon be in the care of another’s hands while I am at work.
I’ve known unconditional love ever since I became a mother, but it’s something about a mother’s daughter that makes her want to be a better person for her.
I wake up and the first person to greet me is her. When I go to sleep, I go to sleep next to her, breathing in that beautiful baby scent that I have been craving ever since I found out I was pregnant. My day revolves around her eating and sleeping habits. Although I have my other children in the house, they are older and a lot more flexible. They are more independant and they don’t need me as much as she does. They still receive my love and attention, but I have been surrounded by nothing but testosterone for nine years, I’m loving all things girly.
When I look at her, I see a future better me.
I don’t want to go back to work. I would much rather stay at home with her, but I know that if I ever want to provide her or her brothers with the life that I dream for them then I have to work my tail off to get it for them. I’m able to go to work knowing that I will one day be able to give them the life that I know that I deserve, but it still doesn’t stop my heart from aching on the inside or make the silent tears stop falling from my eyes knowing that I’m counting down the days until I release her into the care of someone else.
It’s my goal to be able to work at home full time so that I am able to stay at home with my babies. I know that I won’t be able to obtain this goal anytime soon, but by the end of 2011 I will be a work-at-home mother. I’ve spoken it. I’m going to pray over it, and I know that if it’s God’s will He will see fit to make this become a reality for me.
How did you manage coping going back to work after maternity leave? How did you still stay “connected” to your children?
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I do not know if any mom really want to go back to work if they were honest. Its all about being a mom and having to provide. You have to find the right provider who will communicate with you, learn your personal and respect your concerns. Get referrals if you can and go visit the person a few times before your weeks are up. God will give you the strength you need.
Oh Shynea, my heart really hurts for you. Especially after finally getting your little girl. I will pray that you are able to reach your goal sooner. It is hard to believe it has been three weeks already. Time is going by so quickily.
Oh Shynea…I feel your pain. It’s so hard to leave your baby with someone else and not feel guilty about it. I had a really good relationship with my daycare lady and I would sit down and talk to her about my baby’s day when I came back to pick her up. She would take pictures periodically and that helped me feel like I was a part of what was going on during her day.
On another note, I saw on Twitter (yes, I stalk you), that you were asking about freezing your milk. I used to freeze mine in ice cube trays and then put a whole bunch of cubes in a ziploc bag in the freezer. It was so much easier and less messy for me to unthaw the cubes than to unthaw the bags…I couldn’t stand those things, and when I spilled my milk, it was like a tragedy, watching all my hard work spill out in the sink, lol!!!
Anyways, I hope the transition goes smoothly for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
You go girl – speak that vision into a reality. I will pray too that you will achieve that future goal of working from home.
I love what you said about having a daughter and how it makes you want to be a better “you”. That is the exact same way I felt when I had my daughter. There is just something about it, especially after having so many boys.
I pray that you will have a wonderful 3 weeks before you have to go back to work and that the transition is extremely smooth for you and your family.
God bless you sweety, DAWN
I know how you feel. Fortunately I have been able to stay home since my son was born, but times have been tough and I have thought about going back to work several times. The mere thought of it depresses me.
I think for most stay at home moms, that decision to stay at home is a seriously considered one, and something that comes with a great deal of sacrifice. We don’t stay home because we CAN (contrary to what others might say), we stay home because we DECIDED TO. We give up all the luxuries, we work hard planning meals and clipping coupons and counting every penny, and we do it because we truly believe that we are doing the right thing. When you have been working SO hard and giving up SO much and then you have end up having to go back to work anyway, a part of you feels as though you have failed, like all your hard work was pointless. But more importantly you realize that no matter how hard it may be, being able to be the one taking care of your child 24/7 is a blessing, and the prospect of giving your child who you would sacrifice anything for over to somebody else’s care is heartbreaking.
You are the kind of working mom I can respect. You’re working so your kids can have a home and clothes on their back and food in their mouths, not so you can drive a Lexus. There are bad working moms, and there are bad stay at home moms. I always say that it’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. Yes, you have to work. But I also know that you do everything you can to make your kids happy and provide for them. You go above and beyond for them, and that’s what really matters.
I know exactly how you feel. I had to work and go to school with my oldest four, and for the first few months after I had Zoe. All of mine were in daycare by the time they were 4-6 weeks old (Talia was actually only TWO weeks old because I had her over Christmas break and had to go right back to school in January! As you know, I’ve been at home with them for just over a year and I have loved it so I know what you will feel like you’re missing when you go back, but as mom’s as much as it sucks sometimes we just gotta do what we gotta do. I hated sending mine to daycare all of that time but there just was no choice in it. I’m glad you got to be a S/WAHM for as long as you did and I will be praying with you that you are able to do it again within the next year! I know it’s tough to send her to daycare – I cried SO much when Zoe started daycare… but such is life. She’ll do fine, and hopefully you won’t miss any of her firsts!! **HUGS**