I do not define myself as a breast cancer survivor – this is my journey – my story. It is not a sad tale – it is a joyous occasion. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in August 2005.

I am sharing this story to help others as they face this challenging time and hopefully, encourage them to help other people in all walks of life have the strength to meet their own challenges head on.

In 2006, more than 200,000 women were diagnosed with breast cancer – and over 44,000 lost their battle. Statistically speaking – 1 in 8 women will get breast cancer – if not you, then it will be someone you know.

My breast cancer was diagnosed early – during an annual mammorgram. I was fortunate to have begun my screenings at the recommended age of 40 and it was discovered – less than 2 cm at the largest side. Surgery was successful, my lymph nodes were clear, recovery was a breeze with breast conserving surgery.

A week after my annual exam, I received a call from my son’s pediatrician as my physician was on vacation and I could hear it in his voice as he said “You have breast cancer.“ I was sitting in my living room, surrounded by boxes as I was moving into my new home in Portland Oregon from the Bay area and had 11 days before my move. They wanted to set up the surgery right away. So, I moved to Oregon, flew home and my DD took me to surgery on 1 Sept 2005 and then to dinner later that afternoon as I was so hungry. He was a champ and got us a nice hotel that we had stayed at before with a in-room hot tub bathtub for a few nights before returning back to Oregon (1,000 miles away).

It was a good thing to have work, and the new house to keep me busy. Moving into a new house, one that was built in the 40’s comes with a lot of work. Over the coming months, I spent a great deal of time painting, staining, and working on the yard. It was a labor of love…. and one that my Oncology doctor at OHSU in Portland worried about.

I started my Chemo in late September 2005 and as they will warn you, your hair starts to fall out after the second treatment. As you can see from my photos, I had my hair cut off. We made it a family affair as my son went with me to the salon to cut my hair and photograph me while it was happening. He compared my shaved head to a “hedgehog” foot scraper, but the donation I was able to make to “Locks of Love” was worth losing my hair to – something that my brother has done twice – just for the love of it, as he puts it “for the cancer kids.”

After my second treatment I was outside and happened to start scratching my head, well, my hand came back with hair, lots of it. I thought I would have a few days but that proved to be a misconception. The next morning I woke up and took a shower that lasted over 1.5 hours. I tried to wash all the stubble away and thinking I could shave later. Well, I finally gave up and got the disposable shavers out – 9 shavers later, I was bald. Smooth and bald.

I decided not to use the prescription for a wig and go “au natural” – if men can walk around bald, so could I.

I was asked on the way to a business meeting in Seattle, was I making a fashion statement? I laughed and said, if only I could draw my eyebrows on evenly. That is what I missed most, my eyelashes and eyebrows – but that was just another temporary thing to deal with…. I did not need to be that vain, right? It was great to be in Portland during this time as there are bumper stickers that say “Keep Portland Weird” and I did not stick out. Of course, I learned early on, if you act like you are trying to hide something, then that is the first place people will look.

The nurses at OHSU (where Lance Armstrong was cured of cancer) were awesome. They were a lot of fun – considering the somber mood of some of the patients. They were impressed that I embraced my journey head on and went bald. It made me sad to see the women being treated still holding on to the little hair they had left and covering it up with scarves or hats. My hair style (and covering the gray) was important to me so, I know how a woman feels about her hair, the treatment and prognosis was more important to me. Initially, my belief was that by eliminating the added stress and sadness of looking at the mirror every day and seeing the few remaining hairs on my head trying to keep my dignity by covering it up, it was uplifting to not worry one bit about the hair loss- I did not even have to shave my legs (for a while) and that was awesome! No hair, anywhere can be liberating. I say, let’s get liberated!!!

My last chemo treatment was in January 2006. I was given a total of 8 rounds of chemo (4 rounds of two different cocktails) due to my age (pre-menopause) and let me say when they tell you to get Senokot-S® – get it! Stay on it and keep things moving otherwise you will be miserable and the headaches that come with holding that chemo filled waste in your system are horrible. The quickest cure to getting through this is reading, renting movies, having time to be by yourself and veg out. I did. It was easier for me to disappear for a few days and do nothing but watch the SCI-FI channel than to deal with people in my house.

That’s how I got through it. I did have several girlfriends checking up on me, one called me every morning, she was awesome. Michelle was my greatest friend during this time. She did not let me feel sorry for myself and we talked about everything during this time. I also got closer to my Aunt whom I grew up with and as a kid, thought she was the coolest! She got me to do her homework and I did it so I could “hang out with her” as she was 3 years older than me. We gained a closeness that we always had deep down, but now Jan is my closest friend and not an “aunt” but a sister!

Following Chemo comes the radiation. Fun stuff. Actually, I did not feel poorly during this time. I had 33 treatments straight with weekends off.

My Radiation team at OHSU was awesome. I love Dr. Marquez, she was very upbeat with an awesome bedside manner, the staff were also awesome. The treatments were quick and after a few weeks the burned tissue started peeling. Think of a sunburn that blisters and takes weeks to get rid of but you keep burning it every day. I was healed by Mid April 2006 and for me – I added Neosporin to the healing process – it worked great and my skin was not worse for the wear. Oh, no hair grew back under my arm, so only one underarm needs to be shaved – see, something positive from all that radiation.

During the time I was going through my treatment, Cheryl Crow announced she had BC. She did not have to go through Chemo and Radiation – but not everyone does. Each person’s treatment is different. I forgave her for not having to suffer – truly suffer with chemo as I did because awareness and early treatment will save more women!

New hair growth was the exciting thing – through radiation, I started sprouting hair on my head and wow was it different – curly. Did I say CURLY? Well, that is one of the fun side-effects of Chemo, your hair changes. 15 months later and my curly hair is still curly and when it get’s wet, well, it gets curlier! Now in June 2009, it is different again – the curl is gone and is a bit thinner in shaft size but that tells me the chemo is fully gone from my body…

How you embrace this experience can be life changing. For me, it was a walk in the park. I have had many challenges in my life, lost my mother to lung cancer right after my 18th birthday. She was 45, like Dana Reeves, she did not smoke. It was a shock that changed my family. I went on to college and then my first marriage to a man who I would divorce 3 years later after physical and mental abuse. But life goes on and if we rise up every time we fall, we will be higher a bit, each time. Then at 33 lost my father to cancer – skin cancer. Frightening.

Then my best friend, Kitty, was losing her battle to breast cancer and was leaving behind a 10 yr old daughter and as devastating as that was, we sent her off to heaven after raising $50,000 for a fund for her daughter and a glorious party for her family and friends at the Children’s Museum in San Jose Ca. It was a short 8 months later that I would find out I too had breast cancer…

Live, Laugh and Love every day.

- Let me know if you have any other questions as this is just a start to help you with going through what I went through -and really there were tough days that I was in so much pain nothing helped – but that was just a blink in the total time I was in treatment and not an every day event… it is what you make of it and you can make it worse than it needs to be… or you can embrace it and push through it….

Best,
Stephanie